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The FUSE Woman -- "Where Form & Spirit Become One"
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The Evolution of Me
They say you are more like your friends now than you are like the person you were 10 years ago.
It gives me pause as I stop to look around and take stock of who is around me. And reflect on who I was 10 years ago.
Ten years ago, I was a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, young 20-something, ready to take the world by storm. I was out on my own living in my second apartment, I had just left my first job (after 2.5 years) to start a new job (that I thought would have better work-life balance) and had recently reconnected with an ex-boyfriend. I had it all figured out.
When I think back, those days seemed like a light, fluffy romp in the grass, flitting from one social engagement to the next, working hard, and sinking my teeth into adulthood.
Today, I am in the first year of running my own business, I’m edging toward year 8 of being in the house I bought, and I am a well-traveled lady – with an ever-growing list of places to explore. And I realize today, my idea of tomorrow – and the further future – is so much bigger than what I even imagined it could be a decade ago.
And of course, it all makes me curious about which stranger (some day to become a friend) will I be like when I’m 90, so different from who I am right now, today. What will my purpose and my passion be? Where will I be living? Who will be important in my life?
These days, these are the questions that make me excited to think about tomorrow, next week, next year, and even beyond. Our time here is a beautiful mystery to be unfolded a little at a time as we evolve and grow.
Tell A New Story
My wife is a very wise woman. She has her priorities in order. She has a very clear picture of who she is, and what is important to her. Of the many, many things I have learned from her in the last twenty-five years, two things are particularly valuable.
The first concept is to "protect the quality of your life." This is a more complex perception then it sounds. It has very little to do with material things. It has more to do with avoiding negative thoughts and negative people. In these troubled times, we are bombarded with difficult challenges — global warming, faltering economies, and divisive opinions on almost every social issue.
In the confusion and chaos of a rapidly changing world, it is difficult to avoid negative and pessimistic attitudes. One of the most pernicious elements is criticism.
In my experience, praise and approval seem to roll off like the proverbial water from the proverbial duck; but, personal critical comments have a sting that never goes away. In the course of a lifetime, we begin to recognize patterns, even among friends and relatives, who either unconsciously or deliberately poor toxic fluids on us. When it becomes apparent that these behaviors are not going to change, we must tell ourselves and others a "new story."
Instead of telling ourselves that such negative elements are part of life, we must tell ourselves to look for healthier alternatives. This may involve avoiding corrosive behaviors or "toxic" people. These are not easy choices. By telling a "new story" about who we are and what we choose, we take responsibility for our own well being, instead of blaming others or considering ourselves as "victims." Instead of dragging disappointments and resentments forward, we can tell a "new story" and protect the quality of our lives.